• Take yourself, the experience and your own feelings seriously.
• Sexualized harassment, even in its most inconspicuous form, is always an attack on your own integrity and self-worth.
• Contradictory feelings, guilt and shame are "normal" and often the result of a socialization characterized by taboo topics, problematic gender roles and numerous myths about sexualized harassment.
• Most people find it difficult to react directly to a transgression of boundaries. There are various reasons for this. The experience often has to be processed and classified first. However, there are various ways to react afterwards, to distance yourself and to prepare for further situations. Come to our counseling service.
• Talk about what you have experienced and react in good time. Ignoring and remaining silent protects and encourages the perpetrators to continue. In most cases, it leads to a worsening of the transgression and makes it increasingly difficult to break out of this spiral.
• The consequences of sexualized discrimination and harassment range from anxiety, social withdrawal or even depression to avoiding seminars/meetings, delaying studies and professional restrictions and much more.
• Take part in one of our workshops, which combine theory with practical exercises on how to act and self-awareness, or attend a Wendo self-defense course (run by Wildwasser Oldenburg e. V., among others).

The majority of people who have experienced sexualized discrimination or even violence find it very difficult to react in a differentiated manner. This is due, among other things, to the surprise effect, a multitude of often contradictory feelings and thoughts, the general taboo and, last but not least, the relationship with the perpetrator, which in many cases is characterized by a power imbalance.

It is therefore all the more helpful if outsiders intervene if necessary, signaling support in this difficult situation or addressing the observed events and thus making them visible. At the same time, a reaction from the immediate environment clearly shows the perpetrator that their behavior is being noticed and not tacitly tolerated. Observers have the advantage that they are not directly involved and are therefore not exposed to the complex feelings of being directly affected. Nevertheless, the possibilities and abilities of the individual are very different, as framework conditions, personal dependencies, individual concern and responsiveness also play a role here.

There are many ways to do something. The important thing is that you act to help those affected and make a preventative contribution to making our university a place where sexualized discrimination and violence have no place.

Tips:

• Name what you have observed openly and intervene if you do not put yourself in danger.
• Actively offer the person concerned support and accompany them to a counseling center or another contact person if they wish.
• Make a note of the incident immediately, including the time, place, date, name of the harasser, wording and the names of any witnesses.
  Seek advice from us on how you can help those affected or how you can classify and process what you have observed yourself.

How do I behave as the first point of contact for a victim?

Talking about sexualized discrimination and violence is very difficult for many of those affected and there are many good reasons why someone may not want to officially report these experiences. There are also very different ways in which individuals can react to transgressions. In the immediate situation, only very few people are able to effectively and quickly distance themselves.

Here are a few tips:

• Take the person's report seriously, show that you believe them and listen actively.
• Avoid statements that play down the experience or suggest that the person concerned is responsible.
• Encourage them to seek advice and point out that the conTakt counseling center offers anonymous counseling.
• Offer to accompany them to the conTakt counseling center
• Make it clear that the person concerned always decides for themselves whether and what they want to do.

If you have any questions or need advice, you can also contact us.

Sexualized discrimination and violence has been increasingly taking place in the virtual space for years, be it in the context of social media, messengers, forums, emails, online gaming or the increasingly used virtual university services.

Most adults, especially young adults, have experienced cyberharassment at some point or have at least been affected by milder forms such as insults or sexualized comments.

Forms of cyberharassment include cyberbullying (insults and shaming), cyberbullying, cyberstalking, cybersexism, sexting (sexualized texting) and threats of violence.

Young women in particular are affected by severe forms of cyberharassment, while men are more likely to experience insults and shaming.

General recommendations for action are:

• Make it clear immediately that you do not want the behavior.
• Document what happened immediately and save evidence, e.g. in the form of screenshots and photos with dates.
• Get help promptly from a specialist advice center such as conTakt.
• If someone confides in you, listen and take what they have experienced seriously. Accompany the person to a specialist advice center and contact the responsible seminar and forum managers.
• As a preventative measure, only use the university's own online tools in the context of seminars and only give your private contact details to people you trust.